Quite a few people have asked me for a copy of what I said in the church and I have no qualms about publishing it here because I wanted no-one to leave that room with any doubt about how Vicky and I felt about eachother right up until we were parted and how we felt about the magnitude of the vows we made when we were married in that same room 17 years ago.
The photo here is roughly about when Vicky and I got together, around when we were 17-ish, to give you an idea of how long we've been inseperable.
This is what I said in the church:
"For a man of words like myself, as you can imagine, I have written and re-written this dozens of times and you’ll have to be patient with me no doubt over the next few minutes. There is so much to say about and to Vicky and it seems so little time to do it. Where do I start?
I have to say that over the last week and a bit, that I have had literally hundreds of people, from all around the world saying that they are sorry for my loss. And that is beautiful and correct at this time. But I would like to say to you, while you are all here in one place. That I am so sorry for YOUR loss. The amount of people here today is testament to how Vicky affected people’s lives.
Just have a look around for a moment to see all the people that Vicky touched.
Life is all about decisions and where those decisions take you. Like the decision Vicky and I made to come to this church and be married in July 1994.
People say this at virtually every funeral and memorial service, but it has never carried more resonance than it does today when I say that Vicky was the most selfless, loving, considerate, compassionate and absolutely fabulous person I have ever known. I’m bound to say this of course, but most of you in this room will feel that as well, which is the real proof.
Vicky was a genuinely good person who lived her life mainly to be of benefit to others both in her personal life and her professional life, saving the children of Gateshead along with her beloved team-mates, all of whom are with us today as they loved her so much.
Vicky filled all of our lives with so much joy and laughter and these are the things we must try and remember in due course. At this point I was going to say 'please don’t ever forget her', but I don't think there's much chance of that, is there?
A word for Val. They say no mother should outlive her children, and this is of course true. Just know, that I’m always here for you, as you have been for me, not just over the last couple of months but also over the years.
And I’m so proud of my girls, Charlotte and Gabrielle, for the way they have faced up to this most terrible of situations. Your Mam will be bursting with pride at this moment.
I promise to try and fill the hole that’s been left in your lives as best I can. No man can replace a Mother’s love, but I shall try.
So as I mentioned at the start, Vicky and I made the decision to come here to be married in July 1994 and we’ve had 17 wonderful years, I’ll treasure and remember every day we had.
On that day we took solemn vows: to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part. And today, Vicky, we have succesfully completed all of those vows.
And now I must say goodbye to Vicky. She truly was a wonderful wife, she was my one and only soul-mate, my best friend, love of my life and rose of my heart and I shall miss her every day of the rest of my life in ways you can’t possibly imagine.
The greatest comfort of all that I will take with me is that I was able to be with Vicky in her final moments. I was able to wrap my arms around her and hold her and I knew she knew it was me and that she could hear me. The last words she heard were, ‘I’m here for you, don’t be frightened, I’ve got you, I’ve got you’.
Goodbye Vicky, I will love you forever."
